Actions Speak Louder
Ever recognized yourself saying one thing and doing another?
Or witnessed it in someone else? This can be the greatest gift as we often pick out this misalignment from another person’s actions faster than we see our own and so often what we notice in others is a mirror of what is going on in ourselves.
This is a problem, it is a miss alignment, and we as humans do it all the time. There is an integrity gap happening here. Perhaps it is subtle… maybe it is saying you want more of something in your life yet you don’t take those opportunities. This is what I really want to speak to today.
Having integrity toward our visions, desires and dreams.
We say we want more of a lot of things. More time, more money, greater investment in ourselves, better fitness, to sleep well, to eat healthier, to deepen our relationships. We get more specific in what exactly we want to do or not do, yet we keep creating the circumstances where we continue on the way we are.
Grow your awareness, that is the first step. Get more clear in what it is you do and do not want in your life. Let’s make an example. Say you want to have more personal development in your life, things are feeling a bit monotonous, you are feeling stuck. Notice when this thought or feeling is coming up and get more clear on what exactly you want to feel and why. With our example, this person realizes that they are feeling board of themselves and want to develop their ability to take risks, to adventure, to try new things and feel excited about life. This comes up at the end of a work week quite often when they are feeling tired of work and unmotivated moving toward to weekend when they wish they were out “getting after it”. They realize that feeling is really about excitement and engagement. They want to feel enthusiastic and inspired again, like they did a few years ago. Why? Because life would be so much better, they would have so much more joy and be able to do their work better. They think back to when they use to travel and explore on the weekends and come back to work feeling both blissful and like they were glowing. They would float through the first few days of the week in a flowy state of balance. Once it got to be midweek and they started to lose that feeling they would long for it, plan another trip or activity and look forward to it for the rest of the week. If they weren’t, they’d take a rest weekend, maybe use the time to plan a more intricate adventure later in the month.
This person knows how they would like to feel and why, great work hypothetical person in gaining awareness of what you are missing. Next step is to recognize where were are and are not acting in alignment to this desire.
Saturday comes, they are tired and sleep in, feeling a bit blah. But in the afternoon they challenge themselves to get outta the house and go for a walk in a neighborhood they don’t often visit. They come across a new coffee shop, an interesting book store, see a crazy looking car, and take in the views. It is gentle in comparison to the good old days but a step in the right direction. Noticed - today they acted with integrity toward their vision.
The next day a friend calls, asks if they want to go to the next town over and see an art exhibit with live music, maybe go for a hike on the way back. “No,” they say “I’ve had a busy week and just need a rest day to get ready for this week. They proceed to kick around the house, watch netflix while scrolling on their phones.
There it is, so simple, it made so much sense. Of course they are tired from their boring job and an out of the ordinary adventure on Saturday, but when offered exactly what they wanted, they declined. They used their time for draining activities like mindless scrolling. They go to work on Monday feeling ‘blah’ and discouraged because they tried.
When we want to experience something different than what we have, we have to do something different than we have been doing. We have to act on it, on the uncomfortable difference between now and where we want to be. The more awareness we have on where we are lining up with this vision and where we are not, the faster we can course correct and get there, one baby step at a time.
