4 favourite things
This is a blog post about what happened for me when I dedicated time to learning about the ayurvedic perspectives on living in rhythm with natural cycles of the planet, had a supportive community of peers, and had coaching and mentoring support.
Burn out recovery - I had been deeply tired for a year. This had been in the works for several years, actually when I think back to when I woke up feeling as inspired as I do now it was in high school (over 10 years ago) when I was so on point with my purpose of being a dedicated student-athlete that my life felt very aligned. But the last year was bad - for part of the year I could not stay away all day unless I went to bed early and slept in, but I still arranged my days not to drive long distances in the afternoons or late evening. I felt like my emotions were out of control because I was so tired.
I tried several different strategies. Counselling, which helped a little bit in order to understand that I needed to make changes. I tried doing more things that I liked and could get excited in, but it was harder for me to be truly excited. I quit guiding and took a 9-5 job in the name of regular daily routine, life balance, and getting to sleep in the same bed every night. I quit that job and tried having time off… but I was stressed about my life purpose and kept pushing forward without feeling particularly fulfilled. I moved several times and struggled to feel committed.
Eventually I got real about investing in myself, my purpose, and a supportive community that would help me to build and maintain the habits that I needed. I had to learn how to sleep! I had to learn how to set myself up to be ready for bed early, and to sleep well each night. This currently looks like shutting things down around 9pm to wind down for bed before 10. I was pulled to experiment with cutting out coffee, even though I love coffee dearly, but it turns out that it affects me really negatively in ways I didn’t realize because drinking coffee everyday was the most consistent habit that I had. I know I need to exercise everyday, and in a way that is consistent and does not lead to injuries and community and variety helps tremendously in finding deep joy in these pursuits. It also means eating an earlier and lighter dinner and not drinking late at night (ideally, though I flex on these for social events but I know I sleep better when I have a buffer of a couple hours between food or alcohol and sleep!). It means shutting down screens, reading books, writing out things that are on my mind, massaging my feet, stretching, going outside for a walk, and most of all - listening to what I am feeling would support this deep rest and being active in pursuing these things. It means realizing that not sleeping well is no longer acceptable because I have big dreams that require energy and focus to pursue!
Digestion of Emotions - A year ago it felt like the mirror of my life on the outside was showing exactly what I felt inside: It was raining, I was crying. I had quit my job, been broken up with, and was about to pull a 180 and drive back in the direction I had come from to start something totally different. Lost, confused, grasping at straws, rolling the dice, taking a stab in the dark…. all seemed like fitting descriptions of where I was at and my plan moving forward.
I am still learning about why this happens, what the yogic perspective on it is on it and what that means, but I understand on a very basic level that as we enable our digestive process we are able to digest emotions and thoughts and move forward. Both the process of spacing our meals out without snacking in between, which allows our bodies to burn fats rather than just sugars and carbs, we are able to stabilize our energy, and more consistent and stable energy in our body includes our emotions too. Consistency and Stability in our emotions - that was something I was dreaming of and felt so far off when I was burnt out! Earlier and Lighter evening meals that are digested before we go to bed mean that the body can be detoxing during the night, rather than struggling to keep up with digesting a big meal, like a late steak dinner. I wake up feeling light and fresh, excited to move forward rather than feeling like I am stuck, both in my body and in my past.
Feel powerful in myself - There is a belief I have been learning through Ayurvedia that is quite contrary to the western beliefs and examples of society. This is the belief that we should get healthier as we age. That our health is a personal and unique journey, and we experiment with different things and pay attention to what works well for us and what doesn’t. We grow in our wisdom of ourselves and our beings. In this I feel powerful in my ability to build habits in a way that I will find success in creating a new way of being, to learn as I go, and to continually evolve. No part of me is stuck or fixed and I am constantly evolving myself and my habits. What an incredibly powerful and expansive feeling! To have the support of a community that is united on wanting to change and grow, and holds each other accountable to the potential of our future selves.
Gaining Momentum in my life purpose - to say I know what my mission, life purpose, or even my business model or specific coaching niche is right now is an overstatement. I have a lot of clarifying to do still and some days I feel lost in confusion about what I want for myself and what I want to give to others, what I want to be doing 5 years from now, 1 year from now, or today. However, rather than spending time journaling each day just trying to make some sense of the chaos that felt like it was my life, I feel calm in the uncertainty. Like I can wait for the wave to break that will offer some new insight into myself and my purpose, I can put it into action, and surf my way along. Momentum is a much more fitting word than clarity at this point, but it sure does feel good to have insights regularly and to be okay with waiting for the next one to occur.
Overall, it feels like my life is leveling up. Rather than my body getting more run down and broken and feeling like I just take on more “baggage” with each challenge, hardship, or sad story I hear, I feel able to be more present in the moment and have this feeling that I can move through situations and feelings and thoughts rather than get stuck in them. It is a freeing feeling and like everyday is an adventure toward alignment and knowing myself better.
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